Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
