if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
