I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
