Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
