They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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