So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
