I want to stick my p in your. b.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
dude. I can hear the air.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
