Nicole vs. Life
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I touched a dick in church today
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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