my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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