Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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