He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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