Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
