Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
