just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want to make out with him forever
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
