I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
