what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
