eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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