You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
