so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
