But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
