I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
