Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
