the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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