I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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