The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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