dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
