And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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