You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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