at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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