Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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