Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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