hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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