I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
