do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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