I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
