ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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