Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
