Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
