did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
