you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
