I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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