if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Panties = found
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
