i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
