How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
