I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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