Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
