HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
