i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
