How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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