Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i think my cat just said my name.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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