I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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