Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
