she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
