So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
